*The winner to the Stitch Fix giveaway is announced below, but first
here's a little letter I wrote to myself in retrospect. I felt it would
be appropriate in honor of Mother's Day and maybe to offer a little
encouragement to those of you who aren't so thrilled about the title of
Motherhood yet. Happy Mother's Day, loves! *
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Dear pre-mom Olivia,
Hi
there. Sometimes I don't even recognize you when I think back or when I
look at old pictures- so much has changed. If someone told you that by
the age of 19 you'd be pregnant, at 20 you'd be a mom and a wife and
then at 21 have baby #2 on the way, you would have laughed. No, probably
not laughed; passed out probably. Or quit school and run away or
something. Because, I know, that is not the direction you saw your life
going.
The weird thing is, you aren't really sure where
your life is going. You absolutely love college. You're doing great at
it, you have awesome friends, a great social life, a sexy boyfriend....
life is good.
But when it comes to "big picture"
things, that's where it starts to get hazy. You know you want to get
married, but you're not sure when. You know you love writing, but you
don't know what to do with it. Your English Education degree is fun and
sparking a lot of passion inside you, but you're still not really sure
if teaching is for you. You know you want to have kids- when, where, how
many and with whom is still up in the air. Basically, you're normal. So
good job there.
Things are about to get really, really
(really) stressful though. Something you never expected to happen to
you is about to change your life.
You're going to be a mom.
Take
a deep breath and let that sink in for a while. It might take the next
few years to sink fully, but embrace it. As unprepared, inadequate and
inexperienced as you are, you're going to be Evelyn's momma. It's going
to be the most life-giving, challenging, stressful, beautiful name
you're ever given.
I know it seems crazy, because
motherhood is the last place you want to walk into right now, but it's
happening. You will jump in heart first and sometimes it will feel like
you'll never be able to come up for air, but you'll be fine and you'll
learn so much along the way. You'll read all the books and take all the
classes, but nothing will ever truly prepare you for it.
No one ever told you that becoming a mom would be the most fulfilling life-path you've ever taken.
No
one ever told you that sometimes you won't shower for days, most of the
time you'll look like a zombie, and you'll loose your patience a lot.
No one ever told you that giving birth would be THAT painful. And you get to do it twice....yay.
No one ever told you that watching AJ be a daddy would make you fall in love with him more than you ever did before.
No
one ever told you that you would take all the fear you're feeling and
turn it to strength. That's how confidence is born. Sometimes you just
have to jump in.
No one ever told you that sometimes
your heart will feel so full that you just have to laugh. Like this
morning when Evie was playing on the kitchen floor with her newly found
stuffed puppy- giving him the biggest hug her arms could muster. Or when
she gets so excited to take a bath in her new big girl tub that she can
barely hold still. Or when she runs up to you and kisses your legs and
says "I yuv ya" in her own little voice.
All the love,
the stress, the lack of sleep. No one ever prepared you for any of
this. Not even your childbirth class or that childhood psychology class
you took.
And that's okay.
You're going
to be a mom. No matter what you do with the rest of your life, that job
will always be there- the most important one.
You'll fail a lot. But you'll succeed too.
Motherhood is like that- a crazy mixture of success and failures, hugs and tears, dance parties and time outs.
But
at the end of the day, the literal day, when all you want to do is lay
down, take off your bra (sorry, its true..), and have no one touch or
speak to you for the next 8 hours, you'll realize that it is all worth
it. And that you're actually pretty good at this motherhood thing.
So,
brace yourself, because change is coming. But don't brace yourself so
hard that you close your eyes and miss all the beauty coming your way.
Embrace the small, quiet moments and the loud, hard ones equally.
You can do this.
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Finally,
congrats to HOPE PRATER (who I'll email directly with your Stitch Fix
$$$) you lucky girl you! Thanks to everyone who entered!
Happy Mother's day friends! I can't wait to hear about how you get spoiled ;)
